GENERAL PRINCIPLES AND STDS
If you don’t want to put your own health (and, since AIDS, your life) at risk, it is wise to think ahead, and be a little cautious in your behaviour. All of us have at some stage regretted an impetuous moment (or two).
The problem (or one of them) with sexually transmitted diseases, is that they are not fussy. They will infect anyone who gives them the chance. The clean-cut, respectable looking, even my mother would like him/her type may have a bug. Every time you have unprotected (unsafe) sex with someone, you are inviting their sexual past to infect you.
‘Brad’, who seems like a perfectly nice young man, with no obvious vices, may have had sex with a girl in the past, who had sex with a man, who had had sex with a woman, who a few years ago, at a party, tried shooting up speed. She didn’t like it, and never did it again. That woman would probably not consider herself an intravenous drug user, a member of a ‘high-risk group’ for catching AIDS, and Brad is unlikely to know about it. So if you are thinking of having sex with Brad (or anyone new), it would be a good idea to have ‘safe sex’ (see below), at least until you have both been tested for any diseases.
There are a few suggestions that may be useful to you if you are working out for yourself how you want to deal with the spectre of sexually transmitted diseases.
Things which may lessen your risk of catching something:
• Practise ‘safe sex’.
• Use condoms (properly and every time).
• Honesty and trust between sexual partners.
• Have regular check ups (perhaps each time you have a new partner, or every few months, or yearly, whatever you feel comfortable with).
If you don’t feel comfortable going to your regular doctor about this, try a clinic specifically set up to deal with sexually transmitted diseases, or a different doctor. The clinics are friendly, non-threatening places. They are staffed by people who deal with STDs every day.
If you do find that you have a sexually transmitted disease, don’t panic. Find out what the correct treatment is and whether your sexual partner(s) require treatment. What sometimes happens is that person A has a current partner, B, but A doesn’t get the bug from B, but from a different person, C. That means that A needs to let both B and C know that they need to see a doctor for treatment. This can get tricky.
Telling someone that they may have a sexually transmitted disease is rarely fun, or easy, but is extremely important. Each person needs to decide how to do it for themselves. Pointing the finger and blaming rarely helps a calm discussion. The STD clinics or your local doctor may be able to help you if you are not sure how to go about it. Some clinics have cards or letters which can be sent or given to the ‘contacts’, and this may be useful. Some clinics have staff who can assist with contact tracing. The important thing is to make sure that all potentially infected people are informed of the risk, and have the chance to get treatment (before spreading it to someone else or back to you).
Make sure you are adequately treated, including getting checked out for other possible STDs. Specialists in the area suggest that a full check for STDs is advisable for both partners before the start of any new sexual relationship. Keep in mind the ‘window period’ in testing for infections like HIV and hepatitis, so using condoms for the first three to six months is recommended as well. If you are having casual sex with different partners it would be wise always to use condoms, and have regular STD checks every three months or so.
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